Left undone

We live our lives in organization; trying to make a sense out of the chaos that surrounds our every day; organization often times giving us stress because life got in the way of organization. We plan our, ‘organizing of things’, we plan our futures and somewhere we plan to put forth into our lives the reality of all the planning. And so life goes.

Planning our futures, each day our plans change, we move aside for other things to take priority. Our plans remain in queue, moved forward, backwards, but remained in queue; to happen someday. You plan in your mind, see it in your mind; for you it is done, others will have to wait to see it; when the project comes up front on the list, it is, it’s time to become reality. Then others see the plan, the project coming to life, exactly as you envisioned, because for so long it was done in the mind, perhaps over years, months or days, revised, but always done in the mind.

Facing uncertain diagnosis, we tend to begin looking at our plans, the projects on our list; our futures appear before us, as a murky place, unknown any longer to us. How is it that one word: cancer can change so much?

When we allow one thing to take control over us, we lose control; our lives are ours, and ours alone, we make the decisions, we control it. Then why do we allow such a thing, as evil as it is, to take control? Do we have to allow it?  Of course, we know the answer: no. How do we gain control or never lose it, in the face of cancer, it is: hope.

Cancer hates hope, it wants not only control over your cells, to do with as it wishes, but it loves to control your life; making you live in fear of it,  Surely, what you fear the most, shall come to pass; remember the phrase, truth is it is true, and cancer brings up the most fear we ever experienced. Hope will take over, take control and banish the fear from your life.

Hope can and does banish fear, it cannot live in a world of hope; fear loves darkness, exactly how it wants you to live, in darkness; hope brings in light, your life is lit up. Faced with cancer, you ask yourself, why live in hope, why bring in light; it is a dark time in your life, fear and darkness is expected. Is it? Who told you facing cancer, means living in fear and darkness? Living in hope, a life filled with light; does not deny the diagnosis, is not a sign of denial but shows to yourself, to the universe, you are stronger than the diagnosis, you are standing up strongly in the face of cancer.

With hope, you find treatments with your eyes wide open, you continue living, organizing your projects, seeing clearly your future.  The days ahead begin to unfold, what you see is joy before you, an anticipation of the future; finishing the projects in queue, making new additions to your list, adding them to the queue; your life begins to live.

Living, fueled by, energized by hope. It acknowledges fear but sends it into a corner, deep into the furthest corner of your existence; and your diagnosis; hope challenges it, makes you open your eyes to discover new things, new treatments, does not take ‘no’ for an answer but continues its quest to seek the answer. Hope brings you each day, turns the lights on so you can view life, you can get into the living mode, accomplishing each organized portion of your list; you give only enough time to do the tasks at hand for treatment; no extra time to fear or worry, your quest is to live.

When I look at one life, one great life, lived so full of hope; people were taken to wonder at all the projects left undone. The life, called Jesicha’s Life,was one hope filled, joy filled living experience; discovering how to extract the most living out of 36 years than anyone I know. She squeezed the joyful experience of life out of every minute. There were new projects put into queue, she envisioned them complete, done, in her mind. And so it is that people shook their heads in sadness, “all these things undone.”  The organization of her life, all unfinished, left undone.

What others do not see, is the projects undone are a symbol of a life, Jesicha’s Life, in motion. Living is the motion of hope; it is what we strive to accomplish but only when we have hope are we living. A life left with all things finished, is a life that was not living but idling away until the end of life. A life, left with all things left undone, is a life that was living, living until the last breath taken. Hope for a life with things left undone, Jesicha did it and you can too.

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